Dooley Blog

On TV, or when talking to people, it’s common to hear someone say that they will take their spouse for everything they have. “I’ll show them” “If they are going to leave me, I’m keeping everything” “They left, they should have to pay” or the good old “I’m going to take them to the cleaners”.

There are two main problems with this approach to negotiations in a family law matter:

1. it takes a high emotional toll; and

2. your legal fees will escalate rapidly.

Most people who are using these phrases have experienced a very nasty breakdown of the relationship, and are seeking a way to heal the wound or find a way to exact revenge for the behaviour of their former partner.

Tips on how to avoid a ‘revenge’ family law settlement

1. Evaluate your financial needs. Understand what you realistically need to achieve from your financial settlement with your former partner. It may be a good idea to go see a financial planner before starting the negotiations.

2. Where possible, attempt to communicate with your former partner about their expectations. If you can’t speak with them, try email communications. Try to keep your communications non-accusatory, factual and to the point.

3. See a counsellor to assist you with the emotional aspect of the breakdown of your relationship. Discussing your situation with a counsellor will be of great assistance to you to assist you with separating your emotions from the financial settlement.

If you need to discuss your financial settlement, please contact our family law team at Dooley & Associates.

When many people think of family law, the first thought is of acrimonious scenes and courtroom drama. Thankfully, this is not the case for every person who finds themselves in a situation where they require assistance with their family law matter.

It is essential in working through your family law matter that you understand that you have the option of attempting to negotiate with your partner, whether it is just between the two of you or with the assistance of a mediator or solicitor.

Why negotiate?

Getting to a point of settling (formally resolving) your family law issues can save you significant amounts of money that would otherwise be spent on legal representation and Court fees and also save you the time, effort and emotional distress of pursuing your matter through the Courts.

We understand that there are situations when taking your matter to Court is inevitable, whether there are safety issues or the parties are simply too far apart in their expectations, however negotiating is always an option worth considering.

When to negotiate?

You can open negotiations with your former partner whenever you are ready. You will find that negotiating when you are both in a calm frame of mind will be more successful.

How to negotiate?

You can start discussions personally with your former partner, negotiate through a solicitor, or through a mediator.
However you choose to negotiate, it is important to know that in order to formalise your agreement (that is, make it binding on both people) you need to prepare and both sign (and in the case of Consent Orders, file with the Court) either:

• Consent Orders; or
• a Binding Financial Agreement; and/or
• a Binding Child Support Agreement.

It is often of helpful for you to obtain some initial legal advice as to what is achievable, workable and realistic in terms of a settlement. This way the parties to not waste their energies and time on agreeing to something which may not be achieved in practical terms. Even if advice is not sought beforehand we strongly recommend that once you have reached an agreement with your former partner you seek legal advice to ensure that the agreement you have reached is properly implemented and binding on the parties.

Dooley & Associates are here to assist you with all your family needs, please don’t hesitate to contact us.